How many times have you said something similar to this: “Sorry, hey sorry, do you think I can ask you for a favor? I’m sorry, I hope I’m not bothering you!” Can we spot what’s wrong here? Well, let’s look at what it means to apologize for something. There are 4 reasons why we apologize to each other: 1) Regret 2) Understanding of the problem 3) Acceptance of responsibility and 4) Willingness to do better. So what’s the reasoning behind saying, “sorry,” 3 times in the same sentence? While I write this I can’t help but think that I sound like a hypocrite. I remember all the times I’ve asked for a favour or felt sorry because I needed something to be done. And to this day I catch myself doing it over and over again. In reality, I don’t actually have a good reason for apologizing so much, except for the fact that I feel bad asking someone to help me out.

Looking at this through my own experiences (maybe some of you can relate), I notice how often I say, “I’m sorry” to both men and women in my work or school environment. It’s almost like a bad habit at this point. We’ve learnt that being apologetic equals to being polite, but at what cost? What’s so scary about not saying, “sorry” before asking for a favour? Does it make me an aggressive bitch? No! Simply asking someone, “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” or, “Can you help me with this?” is an assertive and polite way of asking for help. I feel that we have been programmed to apologize for everything we want or need because we feel that people aren’t willing to help us unless we sound like we really need them.

Pantene has made a commercial on this exact topic and I think they show a great representation of what not being sorry looks like. I hope all my readers take the opportunity to experience the freedom of asking for favours or questions without being sorry, including myself.

Sources:

Pantene Commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzL-vdQ3ObA

http://jebrown.us/Relationshop/Definitions/apology.html